Planning the biggest day of your life can be incredibly stressful. If you are engaged, you likely resonate deeply with that statement. But, here are our top five tried and true strategies for reducing stress leading up to your big day:
1. Exercise
This is a solution that you have likely seen before all over the internet, but for good reason. According to Dr. Peter Salmon, studies indicate that “aerobic exercise training has antidepressant and anxiolytic (anxiety reducing) effects and protects against harmful consequences of stress.” One reason that exercise may be avoided is that time is a sparse commodity in your life. But, recent studies also show that if intensity is high, workout duration can be as little as 20 minutes. Check out this article in lifehacker for more on how to have a 20 minute, high intensity workout.
Being a wedding vendor can be stressful as well, as it is incredibly high pressure (we are dealing every week with the most important day of people’s lives). So what I do for my exercise regiment is Crossfit. It takes an hour each day at the gym, but it is the best way that I have found to quickly get in shape and relieve stress/anxiety.
2. Adopt a Sabbath
In the Old Testament, God gave his people a Sabbath rest. It was one day each week when work was not just discouraged, but disallowed. Whether you are religious or not, consider taking a Sabbath rest from wedding planning each week. Devote one whole day to the rest of your life. And most importantly- Don’t think or talk about wedding plans! This is your day to restore balance in your life. Tell friends and family that you will cease to work on the wedding each Monday. Don’t respond to vendor emails (unless it’s critical) and do something active that you enjoy. If one whole day is too much, consider taking one afternoon/evening each week as a Sabbath.
3. Maintain a date night with your fiancé
This goes hand in hand with the previous idea of Sabbath, which stems from the fact that balance in life can quickly erode when one is planning a wedding. Not only does your entire life revolve around your wedding day, but your relationship with your fiancé also can unhealthily revolve around your wedding day. On your weekly Sabbath, consider going on a date with your fiancé each week. The only rule: don’t say a word about the wedding. Seriously, not a word. Wedding plans are fun at first, but after a few months your relationship can literally become poisoned with plans. Make it a priority to have at least one date night each week to restore sanity and romance to your relationship. Your love life is not a machine with the desired outcome of a wedding. But, your wedding is the fruit of your loving relationship with the person whom you want to spend the rest of your life with. Remember that.
4. Lower your expectations
Pinterest has radically changed wedding planning for the better. But, one undesired consequence of it is that wedding expectations have skyrocketed in recent years. As we plan, we are inundated with photoshopped images of the perfect wedding, and we expect for our day to be just as perfect. Pinterest is not reality though. At your wedding, life will happen. Things will go wrong. It’s Murphy’s Law! And despite the high level of planning and coordination that goes into your day, certain things are still out of anybody’s control (i.e. rain). Try lowering your expectations. Your wedding is not a contest. It should be creative and well thought out, but ultimately, people are not coming to your wedding to compare it or rate it, they are coming to celebrate a major event in your life. So don’t become overly stressed about your wedding day, and consider lowering your expectations just a little bit.
5. Cultivate a prayer life
This, for me, is the most important thing on here. And maybe for you it seems foreign, or even nerdy. But, try praying each morning and ask God to give you the strength to deal with the mountain of stress that you are facing. Never prayed before? Consider the ACTS prayer: Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, and Supplication (A fancy word for requests). Begin by telling God about the goodness of creation, and himself (This may be awkward at first, but it’s ok). Then confess some of your sins and struggles (each of these can take as long as you need), then thank God specifically for what he has done in your life, and finally, ask him for anything you need, including stress-endurance. Try this for a few days in a row and I promise you, it will help immensely.
Finally, it is our hope here at Kaleidoscope that stress does not characterize your wedding planning journey. We are here to help as well, through detailed planning, unlimited access to us anytime via email/phone/skype, or even talking through what specifically is stressing you out. We are here to help.
Happy Planning!
-Your Relevant Southwest Michigan Wedding DJ, John Wheeler.